8 Parenting Behaviors That Can Harm Your Child’s Future
Every parent genuinely wants their children to grow up to be successful. We try our best to teach them values, good work ethic and responsibility. However, sometimes certain parenting techniques can unknowingly hold children back from just that.
Today we will discuss some parenting behaviors that can unintentionally keep our children from thriving.
1. Over-coddling
One job we have, as parents, is to teach our children how to live in society as a productive adult. This includes teaching them chores at an early age. If you are doing your teenager’s laundry and cleaning their room, you just may need to cut the cord a bit. We do this a lot of the time because we like to feel needed. We know that soon enough they will be heading off to college and they won’t need us. Well, guess what? No one is going to do their laundry or clean up their dorm room. Help them to develop these skills.
2. Discouraging New Things
Sure, we may be nervous when children begin a new sport because we do not want to see them get hurt or to fail. But, we also know that we learn the best from the mistakes that we make. This goes for children, as well. By not allowing them to branch out and try new things, we are restricting their skill set and not doing them any justice in life.
3. Discouraging Friendships
No one wants to see their child fall into a group of children who are not the best influence. But, telling them not to associate with these children will both encourage them to do it more and will hinder their ability to socially navigate friendships. Now, there is a fine line here. If you know that these children commit crimes or use drugs or anything else harmful, you need to sit down and have an honest discussion with your child. At the end of the day, you have no control over who they talk to in school or on the bus, so you need to help them build this skill set and choose for themselves who they wish to be around. In this, encourage them to build strong, trusting friendships. They will help your child build a strong social support system.
4. Praising Small Things
You should always be proud of your child and let them know when you are. However, raise the bar as they age. While praising a toddler for using the bathroom is appropriate, it is not for a school-aged child. They should not look to your approval and praise for going to the bathroom. Instead, choose larger accomplishments that will motivate them, such as getting good grades or accomplishing a difficult skill in a sport.
5. Overly Strict
Of course, it is important to have set rules and consequences for your children. However, per the University College London, parenting that rises to the level of ‘harsh,’ can negatively affect your children’s conduct and self-control. As children learn and grow, it is important that they experience more freedom so that they can practice their skills in a safe environment. Those not given this opportunity, will be behind the eight ball in their later years.
6. Helicoptering
Watching your child’s every move negatively affects them in several ways. First, they get annoyed at you because, really? Who likes anyone hovering over them? Second, it kills their self-confidence. It tells them that Mommy and Daddy do not trust them and that Mommy and Daddy do not have the confidence that they can do it. This will lead a child to not take risks in life and constantly look for reassurance that they are doing something correct.
7. Not Practicing What You Preach
Children watch you much more than they hear you. You may tell them to be nice to others, but if you then get into an argument with another parent or exhibit road rage, that teaches them something different. They will become confused and will not be sure which to believe. It may also diminish a level of trust for you, as you are not being consistent.
8. Discouraging Emotions
It is important for your children to see and hear how you deal with your negative emotions. We all have them and we can all agree that life is not happy-go-lucky all of the time. Hiding your tears, your anger or your hurt will do no justice to your child. Sure, you may want to spare them from seeing you upset and of course they do not need to know every detail of what is bothering you, but it is important that they know parents get upset, too. Adults get hurt, angry, sad, and this is how they appropriately deal with those emotions.
Are you guilty of any of these parenting behaviors that are easy to fall into? Do you plan to make any changes? Continue this discussion in our comment section.
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